Chatter Girl's Transforming and Instilling Confidence in girl's 8-14: Alicia Birong's Journey
The central focus of this podcast episode is the transformative impact of the Chatter Girls program, designed to cultivate confidence in young girls aged 8 to 14. I, Kristin Crockett, am joined by Alicia Birong, the executive director of Chatter Girls, who brings with her an extensive background as a life coach, therapist, and author. Throughout our conversation, Alicia elucidates the significance of empowering young girls to silence the negative chatter in their minds, thereby enabling them to embrace their identities and foster self-esteem. We delve into the various success stories of participants who have flourished through the program, illustrating how early intervention can alter the trajectory of a young girl's life. This episode serves as both an informative dialogue about the Chatter Girls initiative and a call to action for listeners to support this vital cause, ensuring that future generations of girls are equipped with the tools they need to thrive.
Takeaways:
- The Chatter Girls program empowers young girls, helping them build self-confidence and silence negative self-talk.
- Alicia Barong's experience as a life coach inspired her to create Chatter Girls for developing confidence in young girls.
- Effective communication and listening are essential skills for parents to help their children build confidence.
- The journey to self-awareness begins by quieting the mind and reflecting on one's true identity.
Link to donate to Chatter Girl's. Please support!
About Alicia:
Alicia Marcos Birong is a pioneer in child mindfulness and the founder of ChatterGirls, a nonprofit organization, and Guided Choices. Her signature programs, ChatterGirls® empowers girls from the ages of 8 to 14 along with Pediatric Life Coaching®. Both programs have gained national recognition for their transformative impact on children and teens. With a mission to empower young minds, Alicia helps teens develop self-confidence, emotional resilience, and positive self-image.
Alicia's expertise spans more than 30 years as a therapist, coach, and educator. She holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology from Loyola University and is a certified hypnotherapist. Alicia has worked as a clinical therapist, school counselor, and the first female chaplain in her community. She was also a director in a hypnotherapy school, pioneering techniques that enhance children’s emotional well-being.
A seasoned speaker and trainer, Alicia has shared her insights on NBC & Fox and has collaborated with Coca-Cola, Girl Scouts of America, American Express, and the YWCA. She has also presented on prestigious stages alongside global leaders, including Mother Theresa and Pope John Paul II. Alicia has spoken at the US Air Force Academy.
ChatterGirls® – A Movement for Self-Acceptance
Alicia’s passion for empowering young girls led her to create ChatterGirls®, a nationally recognized confidence-building program that fosters self-esteem, positive body image, and leadership skills in 8-14-year-old girls. The program is available as a public school curriculum, after-school initiative, and summer camp experience, giving girls the tools they need to thrive.
Author & Thought Leader
Alicia is the author of the bestselling book Changing the Chatter, which offers practical guidance on fostering self-confidence in young women. Her work continues to shape the lives of children, parents, and educators worldwide. Her other best seller contributions: Becoming An Unstoppable Woman: 25 Strategies To Help You Achieve The Unstoppable Mindset and Becoming an UNSTOPPABLE WOMAN Entrepreneur: 26 Powerhouse Industry - Leading Women.
Speaking Topics
· Mindfulness Techniques
· Parenting Challenges
· Communication & Emotional Intelligence
· PTSD & Trauma in Children
· Anxiety & Depression in Youth
· Mental Resilience Post-COVID
Book Alicia for Your Next Event
Alicia delivers engaging, insightful, and transformative keynotes and workshops for educators, parents, corporations, and organizations dedicated to youth empowerment.
hello@chattergirls.org 815.404.9489 www.chattergirls.org
Transcript
Foreign.
Speaker B:And welcome to the courageous destiny build a business and life you love podcast.
Speaker B:I am your hostess, Kristen Crockett, and I am so excited and elated to have Alicia Barong, executive director of Chatter Girls on the podcast today.
Speaker B:Hello, Alicia.
Speaker A:Hello.
Speaker B:Alicia is a 30 year life coach, veteran therapist, hypnotherapist, author of four books and professional speaker.
Speaker B:Now, we are here today to talk about Chatter Girls.
Speaker B:And you guys should know that Chatter Girls is a not for profit growing organization that services girls between the ages of 8 and 14 years old to, to help them gain confidence and also to calm the chatter that is in their minds.
Speaker B:Gosh, I wish I would have had this when I was that age and got the tools that we have now.
Speaker B:And I'm so excited to not only be a part of this organization and be on the board of this organization, but also to have this conversation with Alicia today and have us learn a little bit more about this amazing, this amazing not for profit.
Speaker B:Welcome, Alicia.
Speaker A:Thank you.
Speaker B:How did you.
Speaker B:I would love for you to share your heart with us today and share with us how you came up with Chatter Girls.
Speaker B:And I know you said that.
Speaker B:Isn't this been around for 13 years you've been working on this project?
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:Tell me how it all came about.
Speaker A:Well, as a life coach and a hypnotherapist, I worked with a lot of kids and I worked with a lot of women.
Speaker A:And a number of years ago, 14 for sure was my granddaughter was born and I looked at my own life and all the challenges that I had in my life and I said, you know, I, I think I really need to be doing something more than just coaching.
Speaker A:And I continued to keep it in my mind and think about it.
Speaker A:And one day when I was in my office, I had a young girl who was 10, and then I had a woman who was 35 getting ready to have the opportunity to run a corporation.
Speaker A:The reality was that both of them had the same challenge.
Speaker A:They had no confidence.
Speaker A:So I looked at both of them and I go, I could eliminate this client who's 35 years old if I do the work with the young girl at 10 and change her development and give her the power to be able to shut off the chatter and be able to be the successful woman that she wants to be.
Speaker A:And so that's how I started looking at and developing the program.
Speaker A:So mainly because, you know, and in the long run I kept saying, you know, I want my granddaughter to be that empowered woman.
Speaker A:And she has a very empowered mother.
Speaker A:I wasn't The, I wasn't the complete powerhouse behind her, but she's very, you know, very good and very successful.
Speaker A:So I, I really didn't want to be able to change this dynamic with these young girls because as the more I talked to them, they had, they had no self esteem.
Speaker A:They allowed everybody else to tell them who they are and what they were and what they looked like.
Speaker A:And I just shook my head and was like, no, no, nobody should do that.
Speaker A:Because my background from being a kid, I had, I had none of that.
Speaker A:I always tell people that I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and I really didn't have a childhood.
Speaker A:My mother was schizophrenic.
Speaker A:I had a very narcissistic father who was all about working.
Speaker A:And so I pretty much took my childhood to the place where I was, I was the mother and helped take care of my brother.
Speaker A:And so my self esteem seemed, as a child there was none.
Speaker A:And I could not have sat in front of you and even spoken maybe three words at the, at that point.
Speaker A:So it's very different now.
Speaker A:And I want girls to figure out where their power is, who they want to be, what they want to look like, who, where their identity is and not just listening to everybody else, but listening to themselves to figure out who, where their identity belongs.
Speaker A:So that's how I started it.
Speaker B:Well, and I want to, I want to chime in here too because in Courageous Destiny, what I do for a living is I typically work with women any where from the age of 25 to the age of 75.
Speaker B:I've got clients, you know, that span across all age groups that are working on building confidence and finding out who they are.
Speaker B:Because what happens as we grow older and we don't realize that this.
Speaker B:And what I've observed is that we have a habit of listening to everybody else before we listen to ourselves to the point where we don't even know who we are anymore.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker B:And we don't know the chatter so loud from everybody else that we're actually building our life in accordance with everybody else's agendas and their opinions and all of those things.
Speaker B:So I love when I heard about chatter girls and I heard that specifically you were concentrating on that 8 to 14 age group.
Speaker B:I thought how cool would it be if people could really have that awareness.
Speaker B:These girls could have that awareness early so that they don't have to rewire everything actually.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker B:And, and I just think it's such a, an amazing organization and an amazing program that you put together.
Speaker B:So I, I know that you've been doing this for 13 years and now we know how you started.
Speaker B:What are some of the success stories that you've had from people going through the program and girls going through the program?
Speaker A:I have quite a few success stories stories and I'm very proud of them.
Speaker A:One of the people, one of the girls is actually on our board.
Speaker A:Her name's Annabelle and Annabelle was her.
Speaker A:I was friends with her parents and when I started the chatter girl program, she had two, has a sister, Maddie.
Speaker A:And so the two of them came and Annabelle watched her self esteem completely changed.
Speaker A:Annabella is very, very tall, beautiful young woman, but she had no self confidence.
Speaker A:So she realized that the tools that we were using in chatter girls was a way to be able for her to feel stronger inside of herself.
Speaker A:She tells the story a lot better than I do.
Speaker A:And so she's now in college and she wrote her dissertation on her experience of chatter girls, how it changed her life.
Speaker A:And also she came back when she went into high school to be the mentor for the girls and she talked to, to them just like all the other mentors that we use in the program, the high school girls, we really let them go through the part of the experience of the program first and then allow them to see the freedom to be able to say to that young 10 year old, you know, I experienced that, but life is different now.
Speaker A:I've made changes, I've used my skills, I've used different things in, in our program.
Speaker A:What really makes chatter girls unique is we use a part of our program called journey to the mind, which is a part where we give them the opportunity to learn how to shut their mind off and shut the chatter off and teach them to be able to listen to themselves.
Speaker A:You know, they hear a lot of chatter from everybody.
Speaker A:They hear it from their moms and dads, they hear it from the kids at school.
Speaker A:You know, I have another young girl who she can't.
Speaker A:She was one of our earlier chatter girls and she kept getting told that and getting pretty much bullied by the boys in her class who told her she couldn't play hockey.
Speaker A:And this girl loved hockey and she still loves hockey.
Speaker A:So she had the opportunity years later to be able to possibly go to Russia and play hockey for competition in r.
Speaker A:In Russia.
Speaker A:But what she needed to hear someone say to her was she kept saying, Ms.
Speaker A:Alicia, these kids make fun of me.
Speaker A:They make me cry.
Speaker A:And I looked at her and I said, you can be whatever you want.
Speaker A:You can play whatever your game you want to play.
Speaker A:Just be You.
Speaker A:And in her words later on was, I learned to be me.
Speaker A:And she continued to play.
Speaker A:So we have the girls.
Speaker A:It's an amazing situation where the girls come in, they don't know each other, and even if they do know each other, we group them out and we make sure that they're not with their best friend because we want them to come in a room of not knowing anyone and walking out with new friends and new them as a new person, a person with confidence, a person who can deal with the challenges of school every day.
Speaker B:You know, I love that.
Speaker B:And I love.
Speaker B:You know, one thing that I didn't know how to do, particularly at that age, was how to communicate what was on my heart with other girls.
Speaker B:I could communicate it with my mom.
Speaker B:I mean, I had.
Speaker B:I honestly had just a wonderful mother.
Speaker B:And I remember being able to communicate it with my mother what was in my heart.
Speaker B:But everybody else, I just remember always being like a chameleon, like, not wanting to.
Speaker B:You know, we don't even know sometimes how a lack of confidence can show up, you know, and really, you know, one of the things I'm always coaching is, like, what actions aren't you willing to take, what opportunities aren't you willing to go for?
Speaker B:And sometimes that's how we know we don't have the confidence, too.
Speaker B:And I just remember not wanting to go for certain things because I didn't want to offend people or I didn't want to get in the way of somebody else or.
Speaker B:And I would.
Speaker B:What I like to call, I would dim my light.
Speaker B:I did my switch to make sure that everybody else went first because I didn't want to.
Speaker B:I didn't want people not to like me.
Speaker B:That was just a big part of growing up for me, was this idea that if I didn't do things a certain way, people wouldn't like me.
Speaker B:And so it sounds so simple to.
Speaker B:To help somebody be themselves.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And to tune into them, but it's acknowledging that we have to learn how to do that.
Speaker B:Like, that is a skill set.
Speaker B:I've been working on it for the last 13 years in my coaching and.
Speaker B:And in my own rewiring.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:How do you.
Speaker B:How do you really create a life and business that you absolutely love and find your life's purpose and all of those things, if you can't tune into who you are and what you actually want or you have to think about everybody else first?
Speaker B:So I just find this work so important.
Speaker A:Well, you know, one of the things I agree with that is I always Tell the girls, you know, I would have never been speaking in front of you.
Speaker A:And if you look at the girl that I was in school, I never spoke.
Speaker A:I was there, but I wasn't visible because I didn't speak.
Speaker A:And I had learning disabilities, and I didn't know I had learning disabilities until I went to college.
Speaker A:And so I was just a kid who sat on the swing at playground and just swing.
Speaker A:That's all I did because I couldn't handle any of the other.
Speaker A:And when I.
Speaker A:And it ended up being my relief because then when I would go back in the classroom, I'd be sitting next to Sister Margaret Rose because I couldn't spell and I couldn't do math.
Speaker A:And so I was.
Speaker A:I was that chameleon.
Speaker A:I.
Speaker A:Nobody.
Speaker A:Nobody saw me.
Speaker A:And it wasn't until many years of work for myself.
Speaker B:Many years.
Speaker A:Many years, yes.
Speaker A:And one of the big things that I.
Speaker A:One of the things.
Speaker A:Even after I became a therapist, I continued to look and go.
Speaker A:And I worked with kids mainly during that time, and.
Speaker A:And I was like, these kids aren't getting well.
Speaker A:They.
Speaker A:We put them in the residential facilities, we put them here, we put them there, we put.
Speaker A:Give them this pill, but they're not getting well.
Speaker A:They're not being able to handle life.
Speaker A:And so.
Speaker A:But then I looked at myself and I said, you're not handling life.
Speaker A:So I.
Speaker A:Actually, that's when I decided to.
Speaker A:I ended up in Santa Fe, New Mexico, and there was a hypnosis school there.
Speaker A:And I've always been interested in the subconscious mind.
Speaker B:Me, too.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:And when I went to hypnosis school, my life changed completely because all that chatter was released.
Speaker A:And I got to bring in Alicia.
Speaker A:And that's what I've always.
Speaker A:That's what happens for our girls.
Speaker A:We have the opportunity to be able to teach them how to let go of that chatter and be able to figure out who they are.
Speaker A:And that was a complete change in my life.
Speaker A:And I got rid.
Speaker A:I released all the.
Speaker A:The different issues that I carried through childhood and through adulthood, and I was able to finally let them go.
Speaker A:And that was really hard.
Speaker A:But it was so different.
Speaker A:The people who knew me before and then the people who knew me in New Mexico, they knew two different people.
Speaker A:And, you know, it.
Speaker A:It was a change.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:And I.
Speaker A:The reality of you can always change the earlier you learn how to make your decisions and change in favor of you is very important.
Speaker A:And that's why we do chatter girls, because we want them to learn now, you know, we'll do The.
Speaker A:We repeat the program, and it's the same program every time, but the girls will come from the 8 to 10 group and then they'll come back later and do the 11 to 14 group.
Speaker A:It's the same program, but they're a different person.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker A:Maybe a different issue that they need to work with and they just need to dive into it.
Speaker A:And they know chatter girls works for them.
Speaker A:So then they come back.
Speaker A:Then they come back and become the leaders.
Speaker A:So reality is, it's an ongoing process that no matter where they're at, whether they're at college or whatever, they have the skills to manage their life well.
Speaker B:And it was.
Speaker B:It's interesting, I was speaking to actually one of the.
Speaker B:One of your clients.
Speaker B:When we were at there, there was a tea.
Speaker B:And I am going to showcase some different ways that if you know the listeners right now, this is really resonating.
Speaker B:You're like, oh, my gosh, this really opens up my heart.
Speaker B:I've got girls that are this age.
Speaker B:Or I saw my girls didn't have confidence and they ended up getting confidence when they were 30 years old, but wouldn't have been cool if they would have had confidence when they were 8 to 14.
Speaker B:And I want to give you the ability to, you know, to know how to get to a donation link that will absolutely be in these show notes.
Speaker B:But I remember talking to her and she said, I worked with Alicia when I was this age, and then I started getting to a point where I'm growing.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:And then I called on Alicia again and I grew some more.
Speaker B:And.
Speaker B:And I find that in the work that I do as well, like there is different versions of me from the time I was born to.
Speaker B:To now.
Speaker B:And if you talk to me in another week, you're going to talk to a different version of me because I am always growing.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:But I have the awareness to know the benefit of that, and many of us don't.
Speaker A:True.
Speaker B:You know, many of us don't have the awareness to see the pain of a lack of confidence because we just think that that's the way it is.
Speaker B:And when we're 8 to 14 years old, especially, we.
Speaker B:We think that's the way that.
Speaker B:That it is.
Speaker B:And we don't know that we have the ability to feed our minds differently.
Speaker B:We don't know that.
Speaker B:That there are tools out there in hypnosis.
Speaker B:We don't know that there are tools out there or other people struggling with the same things that we're struggling with.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker B:So it's such a critical.
Speaker B:It's such critical work to be able to even have this awareness so you know that there's something that you can do and something that you can work on and a place in this girl, in this situation.
Speaker B:And chatter girls, where you can refer your niece or your daughter or, you know, the, the neighbor down the street who you're close to, and maybe they can be that much further along than, say, I was, because I found this work when I was 38 years old.
Speaker B:And I know the pain of what it feels like to not know that you can change your mind on things, to not know that you can tune into your truest heart's desires, that you can actually create from your heart the life that you want.
Speaker B:But first you gotta calm that chatter in the mind because it's pretty darn loud if it's not.
Speaker B:I always say if we haven't.
Speaker B:If we haven't trained that voice in our head at all and we don't know how to do it, it can be really loud and tell us exactly what to do.
Speaker A:Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker B:And a lot of times, if we're not happy, it's telling us to do things we don't want to do.
Speaker A:Oh, that's for sure.
Speaker A:Absolutely.
Speaker B:Well, I, I sure.
Speaker B:You know, I wanted to ask you, what advice could you give a mom or an aunt or even.
Speaker B:Even the flip side.
Speaker B:Or a parent.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Or an uncle.
Speaker B:Right.
Speaker B:Who they notice a daughter or a loved one in their life that's between the ages and 14, if they notice their confidence is low, what kind of advice would you give them to look out for?
Speaker A:Well, you have to really look at why you think that their competence is low first.
Speaker A:Okay.
Speaker A:But you also have to have listen to listen to them.
Speaker A:And this is one thing I, you know, I love my iPhone, but that phone gets in the way of so much of our lives now.
Speaker A:And reality is that I hear moms tell me, I don't know what happens in my child's life because they're not communicating with me.
Speaker A:They're communicating on that phone.
Speaker A:And I go, then pick the phone up and look and see what's going on in your child's life if you don't know.
Speaker A:But we really have to be able to learn how to listen to our children.
Speaker A:We have to listen to the pain we have to hear when they come home from school and say, oh, this happened, or this happened.
Speaker A:It was a horrible day.
Speaker A:So, you know, listening is the first thing to do.
Speaker A:But then it's a situation.
Speaker A:Once you listen and you hear the situation, then we want you to be able to ask the questions.
Speaker A:And parents are afraid to ask the questions because they're afraid to hear the answers.
Speaker A:They don't want to see their child in pain.
Speaker A:And you know, and nobody does, none of us want to see our children in pain.
Speaker A:But ask the question and then get them to be able to.
Speaker A:One of the best things that I do with the kids that I work with still is you've got to find a time for quiet.
Speaker A:You've got to shut the phone off.
Speaker A:So if it's, you had a really big day at school, you come home and you go in your room and you turn music on, or you just lay on your bed for 15 minutes and shut the world off, then you have that opportunity to be able to be more comfortable, to be able to process what they hear.
Speaker A:And our kids need that quiet.
Speaker A:And that hurts if they don't have it because there's so much chatter that if you don't quiet your mind, then it really, really affects them.
Speaker A:It affects their grades, their athletic situations.
Speaker A:Whatever it is, it's affecting it because there's no space for silence.
Speaker B:What are some probing questions that you can ask your child?
Speaker B:What do you think would be some good probing questions?
Speaker A:Well, one of the things is, you know, when we do chatter girls, I, I write a letter to all the parents that they get before they come to pick up their child.
Speaker A:And the reason why I do that is because I write to the parents to say, this is the experience your child had today.
Speaker A:And here are the questions to ask because every one of those kids are going to give you, how was it?
Speaker A:Fine.
Speaker A:So we have to shut the door off to fine and get rid of it.
Speaker A:So the best way, absolutely, I know, relook at how you're going to address the question.
Speaker A:That's the main thing.
Speaker A:You know, go and have some quiet time with your daughter when you, you know, go out and have a coke or cup of coffee or whatever it is.
Speaker A:Give them time in your life.
Speaker A:Even if, and even if you have a house full of kids, each kid should get at least an hour with you once a week, twice a week, whatever.
Speaker A:They need that time.
Speaker A:They need to know they have that support.
Speaker A:They see your support when you're sitting there cheering them on, playing a game or whatever.
Speaker A:But they need that one on one time.
Speaker B:Well, and I would even add to that, and you might be adding this to it, but present time, you need to get down if you want your kids to not be raised by the phone.
Speaker B:And believe me, parents, I take my Own advice on this.
Speaker B:I'm a mom.
Speaker B:Triplets.
Speaker B:I get it.
Speaker B:You know, but you need to put down the phone.
Speaker B:Is that because if you want them to put down the phone, you want to be present with them and you want to have this kind of conversation, they need to have their phone down.
Speaker B:You need to have your phone down.
Speaker A:Right.
Speaker A:So go and have that cup of coffee or go sit in their room and just listen.
Speaker A:And you can ask the questions of, you know, how was your day?
Speaker A:Or you don't look too happy today.
Speaker A:Was there something that happened?
Speaker A:And some of them will slowly begin to tell you, tell you if you make a routine of it, if you continue to do the same thing, because then they know the door is open.
Speaker A:Open.
Speaker A:And you're their best cheerleader.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker A:Huh?
Speaker B:I go, that's right.
Speaker A:You are, Are.
Speaker B:You know, I, I think that sometimes what we learn too, as parents is that it's, we don't have a lot of confidence engaging in some of these conversations with our kids.
Speaker B:So just to acknowledge that, just to acknowledge that and go, okay, what if I just became an expert at asking them questions that would be interesting or at a time that they would be paying attention to me.
Speaker B:Not when they're got the phone on and the headphones on and they're be bopping along and running all over the place, but like you said, when they're at a quiet time in their room asking them, hey, put down your phone, I'm going to put down my phone and let's just have a chat.
Speaker B:You know, I think that's so important.
Speaker A:It is.
Speaker A:And the, also the other part of it is allowing your children to know that you're not perfect.
Speaker A:Yes, that is such a big one because, and you know, I raised my children, but boy, I made a lot of mistakes and because of the knowledge that I didn't have.
Speaker A:But I see that because I did make mistakes.
Speaker A:My daughter learned from them.
Speaker A:And those mistakes don't happen in her house with her daughter.
Speaker A:So we have to be able to do that.
Speaker A:I mean, I pretty much have always had a, a friendship with my daughter, but also a mother relationship.
Speaker A:But it was because I was able to say, I'm having a really bad day today, you know, and, and my daughter would go, oh, can I do something for you, Mom?
Speaker A:It's a realization.
Speaker A:You're a human being.
Speaker A:Yes.
Speaker A:So we're not perfect.
Speaker B:You know, I, I, I listened, I can't remember what I was listening to, but I really love that.
Speaker B:I really loved it.
Speaker B:And it Said that confidence is faith and trust in action.
Speaker B:And it doesn't say anything about being perfect.
Speaker B:It doesn't say anything like that.
Speaker B:It's like faith and trust in action.
Speaker B:I can't tell you how many conversations I've had with my kids over the years.
Speaker B:You know, they've been through a divorce.
Speaker B:You know, they've been through a divorce.
Speaker B:They've been through.
Speaker B:I was making huge amounts of money and I transitioned my career to 1, 200 client and I moved in with my mom for a time.
Speaker B:And they've really been on this roller coaster with me this whole time.
Speaker B:And you know, it's funny because now, as they're making their life steps, so they're 17, and as they're making their life steps, they now appreciate what they've learned along the way.
Speaker B:And I've been very open with them because I didn't want them to, you know, mommy, why are you so stressed?
Speaker B:Well, this is why I'm stressed, but this is what I'm doing about it.
Speaker B:I would.
Speaker B:If I was going to tell them why I was stressed, I was going to tell them what I was doing about it.
Speaker A:Exactly.
Speaker B:You know, and I.
Speaker B:I thought that was the most important thing that they could know.
Speaker B:And I will tell you, I will be the first to admit to them and to you and to my audience here that I have not been a.
Speaker A:Perfect mom, nor are any of us.
Speaker B:No, I have not been.
Speaker B:We're not perfect and nobody is.
Speaker B:And I think that we, the phones and other people in our lives, they tell us the best bits on what we, quote, unquote, should do.
Speaker B:But as we all know, reality in life happens and what we should do or what would be the optimal way to handle a situation or the optimal way a life should go.
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:That's not what.
Speaker B:I tell this to my clients all the time.
Speaker B:That's not what a life is.
Speaker B:That's why I call it courageous destiny.
Speaker B:Let's go off roading because circumstances are going to happen and life is going to happen and things are going to happen.
Speaker B:And wouldn't it be cool cool if our kids had the tools to know that their head doesn't have to be the only thing they listen to.
Speaker A:Yeah, I mean, very much.
Speaker A:I mean, that's why we, you know, we teach the tools in.
Speaker A:In Chatter girls is the situation of.
Speaker A:We give them some hand tools of journaling through the program and we do activities that have the impact, you know, and so it's.
Speaker A:It's a situation of them realizing that if this didn't go well.
Speaker A:I can do something about it.
Speaker A:You know, one of the sessions that we do has to do with a box.
Speaker A:And we do a journey to the mine with the girls and just have them imagine this box and building this box and, and making it beautiful and then opening the box and putting the negativity that they have in their mind into that box or somebody saying something really nasty to them and it makes them feel horrible and they write it down and they put it in that box.
Speaker A:And then in true situation, actual activity, we take that piece of paper and those notes and we look at them and we put them in the box which they have made.
Speaker A:That's beautiful.
Speaker A:That box represents them.
Speaker A:And then they take the top off and they go, I'm ready to let this go.
Speaker A:And they rip it up and say, not today.
Speaker A:And so it's imagine of they have control and they take those boxes home, they hide them from their brothers and sisters.
Speaker A:But to this day, I still hear from chatter girl saying, I got my box, I still took it to college, I still hide it and I still put my not todays in there.
Speaker A:Because not every day is perfect.
Speaker A:There's nothing perfect.
Speaker A:But you have a right to your feelings.
Speaker A:And when you're ready to say they have no value inside of you and in your mind, it's time to say not today.
Speaker A:Goodbye.
Speaker B:Well, and what I.
Speaker B:And it's an action.
Speaker B:And so a lot of, a lot of times I hear from clients, well, I don't know how to let go of something or I love like some of these memes that you read, you know, that real development is unbecoming who you are.
Speaker B:And you know, and I'm like, okay, and how do I do that?
Speaker B:This is such a great example.
Speaker B:Imagine having this ability to.
Speaker B:This is an action just like I had talked about earlier.
Speaker B:Confidence is faith and trust in action.
Speaker B:It's.
Speaker B:It's an action that you can take.
Speaker B:And I think that a lot of times people have actions associated with what would get them a result.
Speaker B:You know, very results specific.
Speaker A:Yeah.
Speaker B:But there's also the maintenance of our mind actions and that's so important.
Speaker B:Alicia, first of all, I can't thank you enough for.
Speaker B:I.
Speaker B:I know we could talk for hours on this topic and we can definitely do other episodes because I think this conversation is so important.
Speaker B:I do want an opportunity just to say, you know, Chatter Girls is a grassroots, not for profit organization.
Speaker B:Technically though, it's backed by 30 years of experience in a 13 year program.
Speaker B:The actual not for profit is 3 years old.
Speaker B:Which means we could use your help.
Speaker B:Yes, use your help with donations.
Speaker B:You know, a lot of times some of the standard donations don't really become available until a not for profit is a little bit older.
Speaker B:Yeah.
Speaker B:But this is, this is an organization that is really backed by a huge career and heart and a really amazing amount of, you know, a really amazing amount of experience.
Speaker B:So I am going to include in the show notes for this, for this, for this episode and this podcast a donation link.
Speaker B:Please, please, please.
Speaker B:We would love.
Speaker B:Anything would be amazing.
Speaker B:And if you know somebody or you're like this, I'm really passionate about this.
Speaker B:Please reach out to Alicia, reach out to Chatter Girls and, and share with us, you know, your experience and, and your vision, because it'd be really amazing to hear.
Speaker A:I like to share that.
Speaker A:On May 22nd in Crystal Lake, we're having an evening session and, and we have it on our website and stuff from 5:30 to 6:30.
Speaker A:Anyone who is interested in finding out more about Chatter Girls might want to have it for their daughters or they have a daughter who wants to come and learn what it means to be a mentor.
Speaker A:That's a great evening to be able to come and find out that information.
Speaker A:We are doing Chatter Girls this summer in four for four times.
Speaker A:We're doing one in Woodstock, we're doing one, two in McHenry, and one in Crystal Lake.
Speaker A:So for the summer, our dates, we have one more day to be confirmed, and then we'll put out our dates.
Speaker A:But starting in June, all the way to August, we'll be having our sessions.
Speaker A: days, two hours each, usually: Speaker A:So they're coming up.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker B:And if you're not local, please, by all means, still check us out and stay tuned because we will be going.
Speaker B:We will be going national.
Speaker B:So we will.
Speaker B:All right, everybody.
Speaker B:Oh, Alicia, I have two more questions for you.
Speaker B:I can't believe I almost forgot to ask.
Speaker B:Number one, what is the most courageous thing you've ever done?
Speaker A:One is the most.
Speaker B:What courageous thing you've ever done?
Speaker A:Well, I did two courageous things.
Speaker A:One is I stood on top of a telephone pole and a pizza plate and stood straight up.
Speaker A:The other thing was I jumped out of the airplane.
Speaker B:Oh, wow.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:I love it.
Speaker B:And then on your bucket list, what would be the most courageous thing that you want to make sure that you have happen?
Speaker A:Having this program go nationally.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:Every day.
Speaker A:It's courageous of being able to work on it and keep it going.
Speaker B:All right.
Speaker A:To stay behind this, and we will become international.
Speaker B:Yes.
Speaker A:We will be loving people.
Speaker A:I have lots of supporters.
Speaker A:Become one of our supporters.
Speaker A:Even if you don't come volunteer, come do whatever you want, but this is a program made for people who want to see girls grow.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:Awesome.
Speaker B:Well, thank you so much for.
Speaker B:For coming on my podcast today.
Speaker B:And, guys, let's help these girls.
Speaker B:Let's help these girls create such amazing lives.
Speaker B:Imagine if.
Speaker B:Imagine if you got confidence 15 years sooner in your life, what would that have done?
Speaker B:It's an interesting question, isn't it?
Speaker B:All right, until next time, everybody live courageously.
